Down Goes The Season

That collective gasp you may have heard came from the folks down at 600 First Avenue. In one fell swoop, the season has come to a screeching halt. In one play, people may have lost jobs. With one bad turn of the knee, there is no more, "Man, this team is playing some great basketball lately." In one crash to the floor, Al Jefferson's season is done.

The Wolves' superstar power forward (not Center) went down for the year with a Torn ACL. This ends Big Al's best season so far in the NBA and may have just doomed us to another couple months of turning the channel whenever you see the grainy channel 45 broadcast.(I hear they have amazing cameramen though) The Wolves had started to prove people wrong who thought that this team was destined to be the worst team in the NBA yet again but starting January 10-2 and becoming competitive in every game while also playing some exciting basketball. They were doing it the right way. Letting the young players, that they had put so much faith in, actually play large quantities of semi-meaningful minutes. Even though they had lost 6 of 7 prior to the injury, the future seemed a little brighter for many Wolves' fans around Minnesota.
With the injury though, the team will struggle to win any games at all, while getting obliterated most nights. People who disagree might say, how much difference can one player make?? Umm.. a lot! When you have one great player and a bunch of mediocre, at best, players around him, you can't afford for that player to go down. When you run your entire offense through this player, the whole team takes a major hit. So get ready fans of the Black, White, Green, with a lil Bright Green, and some other colors(?), in looking at the schedule, it's tough to find more than 4-5 wins the rest of the year.

There is a silver lining, however, to this basketball catastrophe. The younger Wolves will get ample run to see what we actually have on this team for next year and subsequent years. Kevin Love will assume a starter's role and hopefully start to develop some offensive skills to complement his obvious defensive and rebound prowess. Randy Foye will get his chance to prove to all us doubters(and with good reason) that he is better, or on the same level as Brandon Roy. (On a side note, OH My God I still can't believe they did that!) Rodney Carney will get some more extended minutes to see if these flashes of brilliance can continue. On top of all that though, the best reason to lose all those games and be that crappy for the rest of the season... To get a top three pick, if not (gasp!) #1 overall.





The hottest chick in school that everyone is trying to bang this year is Blake Griffin. Ok, not literally but you get the point. ( Maybe literally. Hell, its Oklahoma, so who knows) The best player in college basketball by far is also the best NBA prospect coming into this year's draft. He's currently averaging 22.3 Points per game and 14 rebounds a game this season, and by first hand account, when you're watching him play it seems like a lot more than that. This guy's got the NBA ready body while also having the hops to get over bigger players that he will encounter in the NBA, even though he won't have too much to overcome as he still stands 6'10". The problem with Griffin though is actually two-fold. Being too short to play Center and too tall and big to play Small Forward, he would be stuck at Power Forward. This isn't a problem for most teams but the Wolves, as already mentioned, have an Elite Power Forward already in Jefferson. I suppose you could play them both but then we are back to the same interior defensive problems that have plagued this team for years. The second problem is that Griffin will almost undoubtedly go #1 overall and it's an unspoken rule that the Timberwolves will never get the #1 pick. David Stern will make sure that Griffin finds his way to Washington, making them really, really good or to Oklahoma City; both because it's the whole Travis Kieffer "Hometown Hero" story and also to apologize for having to move the team from Seattle a month before season.

Good thought, but not worth much time. As Sean Connery said, "Losers always whine about doing their best, while winners go home and fuck the prom queen." I'll let you guess which category do you think the Wolves fall into more often then not...


A more likely scenario is getting a top 3 pick and having a shot at the likes of Rickey Rubio, Hasheem Thabeet, or James Harden. Rubio, is an 18 year point guard who looks more like the 12 year old kid next door to you that your overly aggressive son beats up after school then a franchise point guard. But don't let the face fool you. Rubio wowed scouts and viewers in the 2008 Olympic games as the starting point guard for the Spanish team that featured Pau Gasol and Rudy Fernandez. He is drawing comparisons to Pistol Pete Maravich, but that could be solely based on the fact that the look almost identical and happen to play the same position. Either way, this lad looks like he could be the real deal out on the court. He lacks speed, size, and quickness but makes up for that with high basketball IQ, instincts, and hard work. Wow, sounds like every description I've ever heard of any white-skined player, ever. Cool

Thabeet is a 7'3" center from UCONN who could fill an extreme need for the interior-soft Timberwolves. Thabeet is extremely raw on the offensive end but plays like a seasoned vet on the defensive end by intimidating shooters and swatting away more shots then John Daly. Thabeet is averaging 13 points per game and 10 rebounds, while also blocking 4.1 shots a game. He is also the main reason that Connecticut fields the nations top defense, allowing under 40% opponent field goal %. That means that he affects almost every shot taken by his mere presence in the lane. This would be a nice consolation prize for missing out on Griffin. It would be like missing out on the prom queen only to end up convincing both of her almost-as-hot friends to double up on ya at the end of the night. Ok, I promise, no more sexual innuendos.

The last player of interest is James Harden, a 6'5" shooting guard from Arizona State. Again, this would fill a major need for the Wolves, providing an potentially explosive shooting guard to compliment Big Al underneath. Harden is a one man team this year for the Sun Devils, averaging 21.3 points per game. He can shoot the deep ball but can also blow by you the next second. This would be like missing out on the prom queen, getting slapped by her two hot friends for suggesting a double up, and finally settling on the town bicycle that can, literally, score from anywhere. Now I'm really done.

Either way, the Wolves will have some flexibility this year with multiple first round selections. This is probably a moot point, however, as they will do something to mess that up. Just one word of advice, LOSE...!! You have had to opportunity to do so in the past, only to try and impress people by winning a couple of meaningless games that no one cared about anyways. This year is different. You need to swallow your pride and go out there and stink the place up EVERY single night to guarantee yourself a top 3 pick. At least its harder to piss those draft picks down your leg.

This Kid Looks Hungry

Seriously, someone get Corey Brewer a sandwich. I haven't been watching many Timberwolves' games this season, with good reason, but I tuned in recently. It blew my damn mind when I took a closer look at Mr. Brewer. This guy looks like a recovering crackhead. I mean no disrespect, as I'm sure he's a very nice fella, but he's 6'9" and 185 pounds. Someone that size should be about about 220-230. He makes a certain "Bez" look like a steroid-poppin' meathead.

Anyways, that random thought was not why I chose to come out of hiding and post.

It was Rick Pitino that said it best.. "All the negativity in this town sucks."
I think in some weird way, he was talking about the Twin-Cities. This has been a record year for suckage in Minnesota. We just had a nice little capper the other day with the worst trade I've ever seen... Ever. I'm referring to the Johan Santana trade of course. Anyone who tries to spin this in the Twins favor is completely nuts. The best pitcher in Major League Baseball for a bunch of "B" players and 3rd or 4th starters is the kind of stuff that should make a Twins' fan so god-damn angry. The hits just keep on coming for Minnesota sports fans. But I ask, when will it end? This negative trend needs to stop. It's making it really hard to be a fan. I think it was more just talk the last time I said this, but with every passing day it gets more and more real. I'm seriously going to start looking for other teams to root for if this keeps up. Some prospects could be the New Orleans Hornets, Golden State Warriors, Colorado Rockies, or maybe the Philadelphia Phillies. I will defect to the highest bidder.





In the ounce of positivity that I have left for the Minnesota clubs, I look to whats happening down at 600 First Avenue. It looks like we have actually have a player in Al Jefferson. I used to think that his nickname, "Big Al" was a bit premature, with him having proved nothing yet. Now, he's starting to live up to it by playing Big and holding his own against the League's best big men. Amare Stoudamire got "his" against the Wolves, (and trust me, he got plenty) but Jefferson got even more and had, arguably, the most dominant game in Wolves history with a 41 point, 19 Rebound explosion which went a long way in helping the Wolves beat Phoenix for the second time in three games. Then he proceeded to make Ben Wallace and some fool named Noah look like his charlie biatchs in back to backs against the Chicago Bulls the last couple days, while totaling 46 points and 32 rebounds in the two games. I was among the many who were very skeptical about Al (We got a good vibe) when he came via the Garnett trade this summer, but he's starting to make me a believer over the past couple weeks. Along with being the reigning Western Conference Player of the Week, he should also be representing the Timberwolves in the All-Star Game. He wont even sniff the game though because he currently ranks behind the likes of Luis Scola of the Rockets, Shane Battier, again of the Rockets, and Mehmet Okur from the Utah Jazz at the Forward and Center positions. Man, I sure am glad they let Asia vote for the NBA All-Stars... That's working out swimmingly. That said though, I think hes on the right path, and maybe it wont happen for a couple years but I think he will get his due if he keeps this tear up. If he wants to fast track that recognition, he could maybe think about working on a face up game and 17-18 foot jumpers. He would be pretty scary if he mastered one, or both of those. Keep this up, big fella, and I promise we will trade you to someone who actually wants you to play for their team. Your time will come. That's a certainty.

The Wolves still suck something awful, but I'm doing my best to cling to the shred of light that still exists with them. I do have one request though... Please start losing again! You were doing such a good job of it earlier in the year, but now are being lapped in ineptitude by the Miamis and Seattles of the world. Keep this up and you watch, you'll end up getting screwed by the NBA again in the draft.(circa 1992)

In closing, you know that things have gotten bad in Minnesota sports when the people at "Some People's Kids" turn our collective back's on your ass. We are about as homer as it gets.

The Love We Lost.....

Well, I hope you all appreciated it while it lasted. The only true face of the Minnesota Timberwolves since their inception in 1989 is probably busy packing his bags and saying his good-byes. It appears what ADAMBEZ and many others reported earlier today has come true, as Kevin Garnett is apparently heading east to the Boston Celtics. The deal isn't official but I'm going out on a limb and saying its done. The Timberwolves would receive Al Jefferson, Sebastion Telfair, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff, and two first round picks in return. Go figure it would be with the only team that McDouschbag seems to trade with, mainly because himself and Celtics GM Danny Ainge are buddies. As a Timberwolves die hard for many a year, I can't help but shed a tear at this news. Kevin Garnett is the reason the Wolves have any fans left, and with the exception of one year, the only reason fans came out to games on a frequent basis. Before I break down how great of a trade this is for us, I have no choice but to reflect on everything that Kevin Garnett is. I think he deserves that much.

Drafted in 1995 straight out of Farragut Academy in Chicago, Garnett came into the NBA as the first High Schooler since Moses Malone to be drafted. The decision was not a popular one with many people. Too young, too skinny, too raw. Whether he used that for motivation was not clear, but ever since then he has been everything that Wolves fans had hoped for and more. For 12 wonderful years, Minnesota got to experience not only one of the best players in the NBA but also one of its hardest working as well. It was a joy to watch this lanky 6'11" man exude such raw joy playing the game of basketball. Some people who play the game treat it more like a job than anything else. Kevin treated it like it was the game he grew up loving, and acted like he was truly happy to be getting paid to play. Now, some people might say that he was vastly overpaid, but if you stepped back and thought about what Kevin brought to the table, that point loses a lot of its luster. Not only was good for 22 and 12 almost every game of his career, but he also averaged around 5 assists for most of it as well. He may have not hit as many big shots as everyone would have liked, but he made his teammates better in every way. He never got himself in any trouble and treated the people of Minnesota with respect, always saying that he loved to play here. To me, he was worth every penny of the 20+ million a year he got from the club.


Sadly though, that 20+ million dollar salary, coupled with many horrendous other contracts, completely handicapped the team into mediocrity. Even though many of us did not want to see it end this way, something had to be done. The team had to part ways and start this Biotch over. It appears they have done so.

They couldn't have asked for much more. If all is true and they receive who they are said to be receiving, the trade is the first one in a long time that you can say that we actually came out on top. Sure we give up Garnett, but we get a budding "star" in Al Jefferson and lots of yummy cap room. The other actual players aren't that great, with the exception of Gerald Green, who could bring some excitement to the Target Center. I'm not sure that Sebastion Telfair will be with us, or anyone else, for very much longer. The part of this deal that makes it so appealing is those two first round picks that we acquire. Sure, one of them would be our pick that we owe the Celtics already, but it helps undue some of the mess McHorrible GM made down his leg a couple years ago.





If, for some reason, you happen to be optimistic for this upcoming year, let me be the first one to burst your bubble. This team will be very, very bad next year. And by bad, I'm talking 20-25 wins at most. I'm hoping for 15-18 actually, which would probably guarantee ourselves a top 3 pick, if not (GASP!) the first overall pick. This might be the only way we get to keep our pick that belongs to the Clippers. If you couple that fact with all the yummy cap room I mentioned earlier, this could be a shorter rebuilding process then usually is the case. Taking a quick look at the notable free agents for next years class, names like Elton Brand, Dwight Howard, Ben Gordon, Shawn Marion, and Agent Zero quickly jump off the page. Those are some of the names that could make this pill a lot easier to swallow.

As the Kevin Garnett era nears its end, I want to be one of hopefully many to look back at his time here, not with disdain, but with fondness. I know that we didn't get to where most fans wanted to get, but we truly saw one of the good ones play for 12 years. He did his best to take Wolves fans to the promised land. It wasn't his fault that a couple idiots were driving the bus. I'm gonna keep cheering for Kevin in Bean Town, and I hope that he can finally find his way to more success. He deserves it as much as any player in the NBA. Maybe the people in Boston will embrace him the way Wolves fans have.



Good Luck, Ticket.





On a lighter note, I am currently watching the Twins-Royals game,(and no, I don't know why) and Dick Bremer just uttered the words "Lew Ford absolutely owns Jimmy Gobble."(Royals relief pitcher) Man, has it really gotten this bad?? If they are clinging to statements that absurd, then the answer just may be yes.