So you think your job is pretty sweet, do ya??

It may just be. But, by no means, is it the best job out there.

When I was growing up, I idolized many different people. Michael Jordan, Tupac Shakur, Hugh Hefner, even Deion Sanders. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I could be like them, I could win at this game called life. I could accomplish anything. The sky was the limit for this guy.

Sadly, I had it all wrong. I was grossly mistaken every time I drove the basket with my tongue wagging like MJ and everytime I had my football gloves unbuckled like "Neon Deion" hoping to intercept an arrant pass and high step it into the promised land. The entire time I should have spent my hours and hours of practice trying to be a 6'10" white guy who wears goofy ass knee high socks. Instead of dreaming of playing college ball in Chapel Hill or Tallahassee, I should have been aiming at undergrad in Utah. I should have been aspiring to be Keith Van Horn. I know this now, because as we have just learned, he is officially "The Man."

Today, it became official(FINALLY!), and the New Jersey Nets and Dallas Mavericks completed the long rumored deal that basically sent Jason Kidd to Dallas for Dallas' entire bench, two first round picks, 3 million dollars, and the aforementioned Keith Van Horn. Now you may be saying to yourself, how can Dallas trade Keith Van Horn? Didn't he retire or die or something?? Isn't he tending to some sheep somewhere? You would be like me if you did. Here's where the good part comes in. Since Van Horn hasn't officially filed his retirement papers with the league, and since he is still under contract with an NBA team, he can still be including in trades such as these. Was this savvy on the part of Van Horn? Maybe. Wouldn't surprise me. The guy is the Man after all. Either way, it pretty much breaks down to be that Van Horn will get 4.3 Million dollars to get off his couch, travel to New Jersey to take a physical, and then probably travel back home. Even if he stays with the team, he will only have to bear that great hardship for a month, and then he can proceed to laugh his way to the bank, after a buyout from New Jersey. 4.3 Million dollars for a month's worth of what? Not work. Not even play. Just to be. To be Keith Van Horn.

So like I said earlier, Keith Van Horn is my idol. He has the best job in the history of jobs. Sure, the guy who paints the silicon paint on those swimsuit models bodies has it pretty damn good. But not as good as this guy. This is whats wrong with the NBA though. Bloated, guaranteed contracts to players who suck ass or, in this case, players who haven't played in a couple years. If you don't believe me, look at some of the contracts on the books for this year....

Michael Finley-6th man/Three Point Specialist/25 minutes a night- $21 Million per year
Chris Webber- half season pickup/25 minute a night bit player- $19.5 Million per year
Steve Francis- Oft injured/ Might Retire/ Whiny bitch- $16.4 Million per

And these are just a few. Those don't even include Allen Houston,(20.7 million) Brian Grant,(17.3 Million) and Jalen Rose (16.5 Million) who were getting paid up until last year despite not playing for a couple years or just sitting their asses on the bench in high priced suits. Allen Houston was making 20.7 million dollars a year from the Knicks while being an analyst on ESPN... Sad.

I'm sure Shawn Kemp is still getting his 19 mill a year from the Portland Trail Blazers. Which is good for his sake with all those damn ill-legitimate kids running around. And I'm cool with that too, because someone keeps paying for my schooling, and I think it's Shawn Kemp.



So what now for Van Horn? Will he actually suit up for a game or two? I would kinda like to see him get bitched again by Marcus Camby, like he is in this picture. But then again, New Jersey is clearly building for the future and no where in that thought process is Keith Van Horn even mentioned. He will probably go back to what he was doing before, but this time with a lot more money.

I think the real question that presents itself to me now is.. What steps do I take from here? Is there a Keith Van Horn major? Do I have to do an internship helping Keith tend sheep? I gotta get on that shit. I have to figure out how to live by the mantra, WWKVHD?

This Kid Looks Hungry

Seriously, someone get Corey Brewer a sandwich. I haven't been watching many Timberwolves' games this season, with good reason, but I tuned in recently. It blew my damn mind when I took a closer look at Mr. Brewer. This guy looks like a recovering crackhead. I mean no disrespect, as I'm sure he's a very nice fella, but he's 6'9" and 185 pounds. Someone that size should be about about 220-230. He makes a certain "Bez" look like a steroid-poppin' meathead.

Anyways, that random thought was not why I chose to come out of hiding and post.

It was Rick Pitino that said it best.. "All the negativity in this town sucks."
I think in some weird way, he was talking about the Twin-Cities. This has been a record year for suckage in Minnesota. We just had a nice little capper the other day with the worst trade I've ever seen... Ever. I'm referring to the Johan Santana trade of course. Anyone who tries to spin this in the Twins favor is completely nuts. The best pitcher in Major League Baseball for a bunch of "B" players and 3rd or 4th starters is the kind of stuff that should make a Twins' fan so god-damn angry. The hits just keep on coming for Minnesota sports fans. But I ask, when will it end? This negative trend needs to stop. It's making it really hard to be a fan. I think it was more just talk the last time I said this, but with every passing day it gets more and more real. I'm seriously going to start looking for other teams to root for if this keeps up. Some prospects could be the New Orleans Hornets, Golden State Warriors, Colorado Rockies, or maybe the Philadelphia Phillies. I will defect to the highest bidder.





In the ounce of positivity that I have left for the Minnesota clubs, I look to whats happening down at 600 First Avenue. It looks like we have actually have a player in Al Jefferson. I used to think that his nickname, "Big Al" was a bit premature, with him having proved nothing yet. Now, he's starting to live up to it by playing Big and holding his own against the League's best big men. Amare Stoudamire got "his" against the Wolves, (and trust me, he got plenty) but Jefferson got even more and had, arguably, the most dominant game in Wolves history with a 41 point, 19 Rebound explosion which went a long way in helping the Wolves beat Phoenix for the second time in three games. Then he proceeded to make Ben Wallace and some fool named Noah look like his charlie biatchs in back to backs against the Chicago Bulls the last couple days, while totaling 46 points and 32 rebounds in the two games. I was among the many who were very skeptical about Al (We got a good vibe) when he came via the Garnett trade this summer, but he's starting to make me a believer over the past couple weeks. Along with being the reigning Western Conference Player of the Week, he should also be representing the Timberwolves in the All-Star Game. He wont even sniff the game though because he currently ranks behind the likes of Luis Scola of the Rockets, Shane Battier, again of the Rockets, and Mehmet Okur from the Utah Jazz at the Forward and Center positions. Man, I sure am glad they let Asia vote for the NBA All-Stars... That's working out swimmingly. That said though, I think hes on the right path, and maybe it wont happen for a couple years but I think he will get his due if he keeps this tear up. If he wants to fast track that recognition, he could maybe think about working on a face up game and 17-18 foot jumpers. He would be pretty scary if he mastered one, or both of those. Keep this up, big fella, and I promise we will trade you to someone who actually wants you to play for their team. Your time will come. That's a certainty.

The Wolves still suck something awful, but I'm doing my best to cling to the shred of light that still exists with them. I do have one request though... Please start losing again! You were doing such a good job of it earlier in the year, but now are being lapped in ineptitude by the Miamis and Seattles of the world. Keep this up and you watch, you'll end up getting screwed by the NBA again in the draft.(circa 1992)

In closing, you know that things have gotten bad in Minnesota sports when the people at "Some People's Kids" turn our collective back's on your ass. We are about as homer as it gets.

The Love We Lost... Part Deux

Well, It looks like another Minnesota Star is leaving our sky. (Wow, that was cheesy)

It seems as if a deal for 2 time Cy Young Award Winner, Johan Santana, is now imminent. Multiple reports have surfaced in the last week and a half saying that the Twins and new GM Bill Smith are actively shopping the best pitcher in the game. The Yankees and Red Sox are at the forefront with the Dodgers, Angels, and Mariners said to be very interested as well. The deal now seems to be more not "if", but when at this point.

Boy, that sure happened fast...

Only a few short months ago, the sheer thought of trading Santana was blasphemy to any Twins fan and even the organization. But since then, Baseball's little devil child, known as free agency, has reared its ugly head once again, and now Johan has figured, why not me? Why not give me 150 million dollars? Hell, Barry Zito is mediocre and got 126 mill. And who could blame him? In this market, he is worth that much money.. The key words being "this market." Salaries have been ballooning out of control for years now, and it has finally bit your favorite squad in the ass not once, but twice in the span of a month. Mr. Twin, Torii Hunter was the first to go and now this. I have an idea. Why don't we eliminate all the teams not named Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, Mets, and Cubs, and just let them go at it. Thats basically what Major League Baseball is leaning towards. Boston got our Ortiz, the Angels got our Hunter, and now the Yankees or Red Sox will now probably get our Venezuelan Sensation. If you are a Twins fan, don't ever go out and buy a Twins Jersey of your favorite player or get attached to another player again, because chances are, they wont be here long enough for you to get your use of out it.

Now, I know that last blurb sounded very negative... And lets be honest, it was. But there also are some very nice positives to the apparent Twins overhaul this year. I think Bill Smith has figured out something that Terry Ryan just couldn't come to grasp over the years. The nature of the beast as it stands now is that before you lose these players for absolutely nothing to free agency, trade them before it gets to that point and get some young studs in return. We screwed the pooch on the Torii Hunter situation last season when we could have eased the blow by getting some great talent in return, possibly from the Angels, who signed him this offseason. This Johan deal, whether it turns out to be the Yanks or the Sawwx, will yield a great return of up and comers.

The Yanks are said to be offering a combination of prized right handed pitching prospect Phillip Hughes, Defensive Center Fielder extraordinaire Melky Cabrera, and some other minor league prospects. Hughes is going to be a stud that could anchor our rotation for years, and Cabrera is already a great fielder and has a high ceiling as a hitter. It would be nice if we could somehow finagle another right handed pitcher, Ian Kennedy from them as well, but that doesn't look like its going to happen.
The Red Sox are looking to obtain Santana as well. If they suceed, they might have assembled the best pitching staff ever, especially if they can keep Jon Lester in the process. I don't say that lightly either. I know you can't give someone the World Series in the offseason, but you add the best pitcher in the majors to the best pitching staff in the league, and they are as close to as you are going to get. The main cogs of the Red Sox offer are Jacoby Ellsbury and Lester, with the Red Sox currently only willing to include one of the two. The other bits that were offered include Coco Crisp and a bunch of supposedly good minor leaguers that no one has really heard of. Ellsbury is a stud. I don't think there is any doubt about that. He's got speed and gap power and in the MetroDome, thats a great thing. He reminds me of Grady Sizemore. Maybe even as dreamy.. Jon Lester scares me a bit. Even with as good a prospect as he might be, the whole cancer thing last year makes me wonder about possible health risks. I admit, that might seem insensitive, considering the ordeal that he went through last year, but I think that its a valid concern when you are thinking about the future of a franchise.

IF it were up to me, I go for the Yankees offer. Although Ellsbury would be nice, the Yankees are giving you the Center fielder that you need and the elite prospect that you need to get back in return for Johan.





After the Twins trade Santana, the last person to go will be Joe Nathan, and thats perfectly fine by me. That will make this process complete. For those of you that think that the cupboard is bare after this offseason, you are mistaken. Our pitching staff is somewhat in flux, but could be very good in about two years. With Fransico Liriano coming back, added to Hughes, Baker, Slowey, and hopefully a slimmed down Boof, this is a rotation I willing to run with. With Neshek moving into the Closer's role, our bullpen might be a little thin, but thats always seemed to be a strength for the Twins. We have actually upgraded the lineup to include possible Star Delmon Young, Cabrera, and Craig Monroe to go with a decent lineup already. There are some question marks with this team, but before anyone jumps off a bridge,(ok, wrong choice of words) they hopefully will take a step back and look at the big picture. These young players, along with the money saved, could help give us some hope for the future. This is something that Twins fans are desperately yearning for after a very curious offseason so far.

I think we deserve that much.

Notes From the Foreskin

Sundays during football season are some of the best days of the year. These are days that men can usually take a "mental break" from the other things that may otherwise cloud their mind. Women, Jobs, Kids, Hemorrhoids, Women, etc...

I never really get to enjoy these "breaks" like I would like to because I usually work every Sunday during the day. This Sunday was an exception. I caught much of the noon games at a casino in Southern Iowa and caught most of the other action on a beautiful invention known as Sirius Satellite Radio. I took a couple things from this weekend(and Monday....and Thursday)....

We'll start with something that happened late Sunday night. Word came out late that Sean Taylor, safety for the Washington Redskins, was shot in his home in Florida. As I write this, Taylor is still in critical condition and the doctors are telling people to "pray for a miracle." Never a good thing. In the initial report, Taylor was awoken late Sunday when he heard noises downstairs. He got up and grabbed a machete that he keeps near his bed for protection. He was fired at twice, with one bullet connecting. Now, I don't know about you but I gotta respect a man who wields a machete for protection. Whether you like Sean Taylor or not, this is pretty sad news. Drafted out of "The U" in 2004, Taylor had become one of the NFL's premier talents and one of it's hardest hitters. Along with rookie Laron Landry, Taylor helped form the best safety tandem in the league. I won't lie and say that I've watched a great deal of his games, but from the games that I have seen, I've noticed that viewers are only a minute away from seeing a vicious, and yes, sometimes somewhat illegal hit that can bring people to their feet. He would hit you like you stole something... Literally. He was involved in a incident last year in which he was accused of pistol whipping a guy who was thought to have stolen Taylor's all-terrain vehicles.
Anyways, I hope for his sake, as well as his family's, that he makes it through this.

The Vikings game was odd in many ways. First was Tavaris Jackson tossing a 60 yard touchdown pass on the second play of the game. Yes, I said Tavaris Jackson. Second was Eli Manning throwing 4 interceptions to one of the worst pass defenses in the game. Third was that almost every pass the Vikings picked off they proceeded to bring back for a score of their own. The Vikings are the hardest team to figure out. Their play varies so much from week to week. One week they look like they can't do anything and the next week they are breaking all sorts of records. I really think this team is a quarterback away from being pretty damn good.

The rest of the league was screwed up as well. This was the week of the backup running back. Chester Taylor did his thing again, but he was also joined this week by a couple back ups and third string guys. Names like Andre Hall, Justin Fargas, Kolby Smith, and Adrian Peterson(no, not that one) combined to rush for about 440 yards and 5 touchdowns. If you haven't heard of these guys before, you aren't alone. Look for another no name to have a decent week this week. Cecil Sapp is the 5th string running back who might start for the Denver Broncos, who take on the Oakland Raiders and their horrid run defense.

Thanksgiving Day brought us a trio of boring games. The Cowboys and Packers both rolled to victories, setting up a Thursday night showdown this week that will probably determine home field advantage throughout the NFC playoffs. This is especially important considering that Green Bay in January is not fun weather to play in. Lets hope this game lives up to the hype that the Colts-Patriots game failed to.

Did anyone see that the Eagles were 24.5 point underdogs to the Patriots on Sunday night?? That is the biggest spread ever for an NFL game. I happened to not see it beforehand, but if I did, I would have put my left nut on the line that the Eagles would cover that spread. The Eagles are bad, but not even close to that bad. I'm sure they felt disrespected and overlooked and for that reason they gave the Pats the best game they will probably get all season. NO team deserves to be more than a 17 point underdog in any NFL game. Even the 0-11 Dolphins...

Speaking of the Dolphins. The Monday Night Game brought us another lovely matchup with the Steelers and the aforementioned winless Miami Dolphins. This is now the 4th straight horrible game that the folks at MNF have shown us. And you can't count the Pats scoring 56 points against a really over matched Bills team. This weeks game was the lowest scoring game in the NFL this year, as the Steelers won a WILD one 3-0. It was scoreless until the last 20 seconds. This wasn't your hard hitting defensive struggle 3-0 game that could be fun to watch. It was a sloppy mess of bad play and even worse play. One sequence stuck out from the game. The Dolphins were driving late in the 3rd quarter and lined up for a field goal. A delay of game penalty backed them up 5 yards. Now instead of taking another crack at a field goal which would have possibly put his winless team in position to finally win, Dolphins coach Cam Cameron decided to let his rookie quarterback, in his second start ever, try to convert a 4th and 11 when the team hadn't done anything right all night long. The ensuing play resulted in a breakdown by the line and a sack. Good call, bud. Thats why your team is 0-11. Almost as good a decision as drafting Ted Ginn Jr.

This week was another zany one in the NFL. I'm starting to think that the Patriots are the only sure thing and that anything goes for the rest of the league. Stay Tuned..

No Wonder Steve Phillips Doesn't Have a Job Anymore..

Who is this broad? I haven't the slightest clue, but let me tell ya, it wouldn't be the worst mistake Steve Phillips has made. It is pretty bad, mind you, but even ugly chicks need love too. Cheer up, Steve... You can always turn off the lights.

Now, I watch Sportscenter quite a bit. Probably too much actually. In watching Sportscenter over the past couple years, I have seen numerous baseball segments involving "Expert" Steve Phillips, former GM of the New York Mets and current baseball analyst for ESPN. To date, I don't think that one of his predictions, or one bit of advice for other clubs has come to fruition. In trying to sift through the numerous World Series predictions gone wrong to all the brutal trade scenarios, I could never really recall a certain incident that stuck out in my mind though... until tonight.

Sportscenter was showing a story on the new manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, Joe Torre. Afterwards, they tried to chronicle how the mediocre Dodgers could become contenders in the National League next year. Of course, they went to the Guru Phillips. In really breaking down the situation, Phillips went on to state that all the Dodgers needed to do was to target three positions. Third base, Centerfield, and improve Starting Pitching. Seems simple enough. Sounds like what 90% of baseball needs to do. Then, he went on to say that the Dodgers need to get either Miguel Cabrera or Alex Rodriguez to fill the 3rd base slot, Andrew Jones or Torii Hunter to fill Center field, and then trade for the best pitcher in baseball in Johan Santana to cure the starting pitching. That would make the Dodgers World Series contenders. Thanks Steve. How about we get a donkey, a goat, a 17 year old prostitute, and a one armed midget to go along with it..

This guy is an "Expert?!?" That was one of the stupidest things I have ever heard aired on live television. Even Kenny Mayne poked fun at his fellow colleague afterwards, saying, "That's Steve employing the unlimited payroll rule."

At first I am floored, but then after a quick search to find some out some other things about Mr. Phillips, the situation makes more sense to me. This is the same guy that has traded away the likes of AJ Burnett and Jason Isringhausen, and probably had something to do with the Victor Zambrano for Scott Kazmir trade to Tampa Bay. I also found out that he was trying to trade a couple "Single A" players for the likes of Jose Cruz Jr. and an over-the-hill Roberto Alomar. Those two "A" players? A couple of guys you might know. Jose Reyes and David Wright. This guy is an idiot and needs to removed from television, STAT. I don't really know what that means, but I think it means "fast." I don't know how he got the Mets GM job way back when, and frankly, I don't care, but what I do know now is why he doesn't have the job anymore.

ESPN does its best to annoy everyone watching by constantly beating stories into submission and concentrating about 80 % of their airtime on about 6 professional teams. I can handle all that. I've learned to deal with it. But please, get this clown off the screen.

I can't afford to get any dumber...

Things that Suck

In honor of Bez's Michael Jordanesk return to the Blog, I have come up with a couple things, not that make me happy, but that really make me upset. Not in a "throw things against the wall" way, but in a "shake my head in your general direction" type of way. Here goes...





Kids on Leashes

Whoever came up with this has got to be the dumbest Mo Fo out there. I'm aware that these have been around a while, but I saw them for the first time this summer at the Minnesota State Fair. I tell ya, it blew my damn mind.. Listen, for all those who are confused, Kids are not Animals! Is it that hard for your lazy ass to walk hand and hand with your child. If you can't pay enough attention to them to keep an eye on them, don't bring them with. Its that simple. Having your kid on a leash since birth is the stuff Mental Hospitals are made of. These are probably the kids that are gonna grow up and pull a Columbine on us. Do the rest of us a favor and stop being an idiot.


Stewart Scott's "Spoken Word" Poetry on Sportscenter

Last night on Sportscenter, Stew broke down the Celtics-Timberwolves highlight by doing a very poor impression of Mos Def or Maya Angelo. I tried to follow some of it, but then, when it didn't rhyme or sound good, it lost me. I know SC is trying to mix things up and not give us the same show every night, and thats all well and good, but please put a stop to this madness. We get it, Stew's black. You don't have to do your best to remind us every night. I want to hear the sports and see the highlights. You have done an excellent job for almost 30 years. Just keep it simple, stupid. I'll take your "Bou-Ya"s and "Cool as the other side of the pillow" lines, and I'm not standing for anymore of this..


MLB Free Agency

This is further proof why the Twins will always be mediocre. There's no stopping it. When you hear that Carlos Silva and Kyle Louse are going to be commanding big contracts this year, the world has officially ended. The free agent market keeps getting crazier and crazier, and when our favorite club refuses to catch up with the times, it seals its own fate. I read somewhere that if ARod opts out of his contract, his agent, Scott Boras, hopes to command somewhere in the neighborhood of 500 million for his next contract. At first, it blew my mind, but then I realized, this is what we have come to. When does it stop? Teams can build all they want through the minor leagues, but its only short lived. When their young studs hit free agency, its over, because only a few clubs out there can afford them, or are willing to spend the money to keep them. Parity is what makes the NFL so great. Free Agency in Major league Baseball with no Salary Cap will make damn sure that "parity" isn't ever even mentioned in the same sentence.


NFL "Timeout Rule"

It was clever the first time someone did it. It was crafty the next time someone did it. Now, its become downright bad for the game. You know the rule, team lines up for Field Goal. Right before the snap, other team calls a timeout at the very second before the team gets the play off, effectively ruining what might be a game-winning, tear jerking moment. Its happened to the Raiders, the Browns, the Auburn Tigers, and this past Monday night to the Dallas Cowboys. Sometimes it works out the same way, as the team still makes the kick. But other times, the team misses on the second try.. I know that the object of the game is to win, but not like that. I think this rule will be short lived as there is already talks in place to change it starting next year. And good riddance, although this wont be the last time we see this this year.




Combo Platter: Sunglasses indoors/ Popped Collars



You know who you are. If you wear sunglasses when its 40 degrees, cloudy, and raining. If you popped your polo shirt collar in any weather. You are what we in the "biz" like to refer to as a DBAG. You aren't Tom Cruise or Puffy. Even though you do some drugs, you aren't Lindsey Lohan. You're Joe Smo. You don't look good. You look like a moron. Its not a fashion statement when people know you are doing for that reason. There is a kid in one of my classes that commits both these fashion faux pas at once.. It takes every ounce of me, not to beat him. Enough said.

Runner up: Men wearing Pink, Dog Purses, Trucker Hats


Kevin Garnett in a Celtics' Uniform.



Not Cool. Big time Suck. Tear.


Skip Bayless, ESPN's "1st and 10" show

It happened a couple years back, with the emergence of shows like "PTI" and "Around the Horn," long time sports writers being thrust into the limelight of television. These writers, working mostly behind the scenes for their entire careers, are now household names. Most of them are knowledgeable and some are even humorous at times. But one thing they all have in common is that they are all old. No where on any of these shows do you see a young, upbeat sports writer come on to discuss sports, with the exception of maybe Michael Smith. For the most part its crotchety old men. None of which is more so then Skip Bayless. I get annoyed hearing this guy talk, let alone actually listening to what he has to say. Sometimes I think he just says things for the shock value of it all, and not because he has a real opinion on something. He is the epitome of what is wrong with these shows. That someone like this clown is famous. And he is suddenly everywhere. He is a regular on the aforementioned "1st and 10" as well as being a guest on recent Sportcenters and on talk radio stations. For the love of god, get this grumpy, old, stuck in the 70's man off the screen, and back where he belongs. Writing in boring newspapers. And dump that show, nobody watches it and its horrible.

Is this a Great Game or What?

After months and months of waiting, we have finally come back to the start of the best time of the year for sports fans. Its a period of time every year starting from the start of Football season to the end of football season, culminating with the Super Bowl in early February. During this wonderful time, we see the start of football season, both college and pro, the start of basketball season, both college and pro, and the end of a 7 month long baseball season. Baseball's postseason is by far the best of all the four major sports. Every pitch means so much, coaching really shows up, and runs are at a premium. Not to mention that stadiums get uber crazy. Usually there are a few meaningful games come the last weekend of the regular season, but for the most part, the playoff spots are already filled or just a mere formality. Again, I emphasize, usually.

This year.... not so much. Coming into the last weekend, there were about 9 teams still alive for playoff spots, mostly all of them residing in the National League. I've never really been a baseball buff in the past, mainly because I would get bored during the doldrums of summer, when it seems that the season will never end. Again, this year was different. I've become more of a fan now than ever before. I never thought in a million years, I would be glued to the TV, watching a Padres/Brewers game on ESPN, hanging on every at bat. The end of this season has been the by far the craziest I've ever seen. Let me take a moment and try to break it down the best I can from my perspective. This season has seen everything. From a complete and utterly unfathomable collapse, to some teams left for dead showing everyone that they are very much alive.

In an earlier post, I said "That thud you hear is Rick Ankiel." I must apologize. I was very wrong on that one. That thud you hear is the New York Mets. If you realize what has happened to this team in the last month, you have to stand in amazement. Leading the NL East by a seemingly insurmountable 7 games in mid September, the Mets slowly dribbled it down their leg. With every loss to teams that had nothing to play for, the Mets showed us new ways to lose baseball games. They built 5+ run leads, only to have a Guillermo Mota led bullpen blow up in front of their eyes. They lost to teams that were eliminated from playoff contention in spring training. They had people who were brought in to prevent these kind of things from happening, namely Billy Wagner, blow lead after lead in uncharacteristic fashion after being solid all year. As much as I like this team and the players on it, I couldn't help but smile at the magnitude of that collapse. With the loss on the last day of season to the Florida Marlins, in which stallwart Tom Glavine gave up 7 earned runs in 1/3 of an inning, the boys from Flushing completed their fall and lost the division to their rivals, the Philadelphia Phillies. Twins fans know this situation all too well. This sounds like the Detroit Tigers team losing a 13 game lead last year to the benefit of our favorite club. The only difference was, those Tigers still made the playoffs, these Mets will not.


The Phillies, along with the Colorado Rockies, were the aforementioned teams left for dead earlier this season. These two clubs, although alot alike, went about their comebacks in different ways. The Phils kept coming all year. They weathered many key injuries and somehow kept their head above water, until their steady pace caught up with the tanking Mets. They are one of the most exciting teams to watch in the league. From the top of the order to the bottom, these Phils have people that will make you sit on the edge of your seat every time they step to the plate. Whether its Jimmy Rollins leading off with his unique combination of speed and power, or Ryan Howard abusing baseballs into the upper deck on a regular basis, these Phils always keep things interesting. Not to mention that Chase Utley may be one of the purest hitters that there is in the league. This team has style, and swagger, and damn, are they easy to like...

The Rockies however, chose a different route to a possible postseason appearance. They just chose to win almost every game since mid September. The Rockies took 13 of their last 14 games including a franchise-record 11 straight, finishing like gang busters to force a one-game playoff for the NL wild card with the (yawn) San Diego Padres. These aren't your cool older brother's Colorado Rockies either. These Rockies do it with both hitting AND pitching. With players that most people have never heard of, they have surprised everyone by winning in the rarefied air of Colorado. Although, you may have no clue who these players are yet, it won't be long until you do. Led not the Killer "B"s, of Houston Astros fame, but the Killer "H"s of Todd Helton, Brad Hawpe, and the possible MVP of the league Matt Holliday, these Rockies can really do damage to any pitching staff. They all can hit for average. They all can hit for power. Its really, really scary actually.

The best thing about these teams, and the reason that you can feel really good rooting for them, is that they were both built through the Minor Leagues, not some flash in the pan, big free agent signing. No one would come to Colorado to pitch, causing them to vastly overpay for very sub par pitchers like Denny Naegle and Mike Hampton. When that didn't work, they just developed their own pitchers. No one wanted to pitch in Philly either, so they developed one of the best young left handers in the league in Cole Hamels. Even their Murderer's Row lineups were built through the Minor Leagues, proving to Twins fans that maybe there is hope after all.

The greatest thing of all though, is that if the Rockies win their one game playoff on Monday, these two teams will play each other in a first round best-of-five series. I'm already smiling about that prospect.

Baseball's postseason this year has so many stories to watch. So many players to watch. With every new series, there will be more intriguing things to watch then the series before it. You need to tune in. Trust me, you won't regret it.

I'd like you to meet my new love. Major League Baseball.

How to Save a Life... and Then Kill a Career

Okay, that may be a bit over the top. Okay, so its a lot over the top.

Its almost never heard of. Babe Ruth was the only one who did it sucessfully. Go from Pitcher to Position Player. The story itself is just plain amazing. Major League Baseball's best pitching prospect. The world at his finger tips. Then suddenly, to the bewilderment of everyone, he loses it. And not only does he lose it, but he loses it in the playoffs, on national television, when his Cardinal teammates are counting on him the most. In one brutal series of events, he goes from King to Goat, including a major league record for wild pitches in one inning with 5. And these pitches aren't just wild, they would make Yao Ming duck for cover. Then he seemingly falls off the face of the earth, only to emerge again with one main difference, hes holding a bat instead of holding a ball. Hes become an outfielder, and a damn good one at that. He makes his way back through the Cardinals farm system, and because of a couple unfortunate injuries, lands on the big stage once again. That in itself has got to be the story of the year. But it gets better. First game back, he hits a home run in front of a ruckus home crowd. Now thats the stuff that dreams are made of.

Unless you have been living in a cave for the past 3 months, you know this is the story of Rick Ankiel, The St. Louis Cardinals newest right fielder. This guy has all the tools. A powerful bat. A rocket arm(he was a pitcher, for shit's sake). He can probably run well. And he could probably name all the capitol cities of the US. This guy is that good. Some people went so far as to call him, "The Natural", referencing the popular 1984 Robert Redford movie. And who could argue? Through his first 22 games in the Big Leagues(the 2nd time), Ankiel had been abusing opposing pitchers to the tune of a .358 average, 9 Home runs, 29 RBI, and 22 Runs. That is the definition of abuse. Not to mention that he had provided the Cardinals with the "pep" in their step that they had so desperately needed to propel them back into the race in the National League Central.

Storybook.

But, as we've learned before, all good things must come to an end. Some people cant just leave well enough alone. There will always be people out there, for whatever reason, that want to drudge up old things and try to bring people down. Especially with a story like this. I'm sure people were lining up from all over the country to rain on this parade. Well, someone finally did. The story broke sometime early last week. Sometime before 2005, when the league banned the drug, Ankiel had taken HGH, human growth hormone. Now, while not against the rules at the time, MLB can now suspend you based on evidence that you took it. Pretty weak rule if you ask me, but its how it is. Within the span of a couple days, this was all over the news. With names being thrown out left and right, it seemed that everybody who ever picked up a bat had cheated. The news reporters lined up to grill Ankiel with questions about his past. And unlike, Mark Mcgwire, he was here to talk about the past. Whether he had something to hide, or whether he was just shook up by everyone under the sun now calling him a CHEATER, this controversy has had a serious effect on his play. And its a pretty blatant effect too.

That "THUD" you hear is Rick Ankiel.

Since the day when he sliced and diced the Pirates for 2 Home runs, 7 Rbi, and 4 Runs scored, he has gone 2-22 with no Rbi and two runs scored. He also has 8 strikeouts in that span. Coincidence? I think its pretty damn obvious. Now the best story in baseball this year has become one of its worst. We haven't seen a collapse like this since the statue of Saddam fell. With Ankiel, so to went the Cardinals. From 1/2 game back a week ago, to where they stand now 4 1/2 games back.

Its kind of sad really. When you think about how much negative stuff is out there... Then you find a great feel good story for everyone to sink their teeth into... And boom. No mas. I, for one, am getting really sick of it. Memo to MLB, this steroids witch hunt needs to stop. What are they going to accomplish by digging up dirt from the past? All they would do is hurt their sport. Bring about more negative connotations about the nature of baseball in the Major Leagues. I've got news for ya... The fans, they don't give a shit! Its the media that is bringing down your sport. Baseball has drawn more fans this year than ever before, beating the record set last year, and the year before that. People love baseball. Your sport is great right now. Keep it that way. Yes, plenty of people took steroids in the past. We get it. We also get that people scuffed and vasolined balls. We get that people corked bats. We get that people used HGH. We Just DON'T CARE.
Just hit home runs, steal bases, throw some balls around a bit and Smile and things will be all good.

As for Rick Ankiel, who knows what will become of him.. He obviously has the talent to be a fixture in the league for a long time, but will this pass quietly or have we really seen the beginning of the end? What we do know, thanks to the media, is that he may not be so "Natural" anymore.

Terry Ryan was Right!... The Solution WAS from Within

Little did we know...


We all thought Terry Ryan was nuttier than squirrel turds. We thought that the Twins needed to make a deal before the deadline to try and win the division. All we had to do was look in our own backyard. All we had to do was go to 600 First Avenue. The Secret Weapon? The Ticket...

It only took a moment for the Boston Red Sox to capitalize on Minnesota's mistake. Funny, this sounds like an all too familiar story. Oh yeah, that Papi guy. Yeah, he turned out to be ok. The Boston Globe is reporting today that Kevin Garnett will take over Julian Taveras' rotation spot and become the Red Sox' fifth starter. If the Red Sox didn't have the best rotation in major league baseball before this, its a no-doubter now. Coupled with Josh Beckett, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Curt Shilling, and feel good story Jon Lester, the Red Sox rotation now sports the fire power to win in October. Nomah Yastrzemski, a Red Sox fan since birth, had this to say after word of the news had spread, "Ya kno, now with the Gaarnett in the rotation, I don't think the Sox will give up another run all yeeh, not even to Steinbrennah and the damn Evil Empirah." While Garnett has never actually pitched before, he has watched many games on TV and a recent radar gun clocked him at 96. He hopes to get one minor league start at Pawtucket before joining the parent club for next week's series. He got his official welcoming at last night's game versus the Baltimore Orioles. Kevin threw out the first pitch in front of the sellout crowd. With the whole crowd waiting with baited breath, wondering if everything they have heard will be true, Kevin stepped up and threw the much-ballyhooed GyroBall for a resounding strike. Boston fans responded like they had seen the second coming of Christ walk through the turnstiles at Fenway Park.

Maybe if those in the Twins organization had reached out to Kevin the way the Red Sox have already done, he might have been "cool" staying here for some more rebuilding. We could have effectively killed two birds with one stone. We could have improved a very mediocre Twins rotation as well as giving Timberwolves' fans a reason to keep coming to Target Center. It also would have kept Johan Santana happy because apparently he's not down with rebuilding either. But alas, they couldn't see the talent that was right in front of their eyes.

Now, Kevin will have the opportunity to lead his two teams to the pinnacle of their respective sports, and I would obviously have to check with Tim Kurkjian, but I think it would be the first time that anyone has pitched in game 7 of the World Series and hoisted the Larry O'Brien Trophy on a Sunday in a non leap year with the Summer Olympics a year away. For the Red Sox, the Rich get richer. Getting Eric Gagne and KG in the same two day span, has to be a boon for Red Sox nation. For the Twins, its another missed opportunity to add to many others. I guess it's wait till next year after all. Thanks Terry. You're killing me smalls.

Fearless Fantasy Forecast: 7 Wins, 100 strikeouts, 15 walks, 2.64 ERA, 0.89 Whip

The Love We Lost.....

Well, I hope you all appreciated it while it lasted. The only true face of the Minnesota Timberwolves since their inception in 1989 is probably busy packing his bags and saying his good-byes. It appears what ADAMBEZ and many others reported earlier today has come true, as Kevin Garnett is apparently heading east to the Boston Celtics. The deal isn't official but I'm going out on a limb and saying its done. The Timberwolves would receive Al Jefferson, Sebastion Telfair, Ryan Gomes, Gerald Green, Theo Ratliff, and two first round picks in return. Go figure it would be with the only team that McDouschbag seems to trade with, mainly because himself and Celtics GM Danny Ainge are buddies. As a Timberwolves die hard for many a year, I can't help but shed a tear at this news. Kevin Garnett is the reason the Wolves have any fans left, and with the exception of one year, the only reason fans came out to games on a frequent basis. Before I break down how great of a trade this is for us, I have no choice but to reflect on everything that Kevin Garnett is. I think he deserves that much.

Drafted in 1995 straight out of Farragut Academy in Chicago, Garnett came into the NBA as the first High Schooler since Moses Malone to be drafted. The decision was not a popular one with many people. Too young, too skinny, too raw. Whether he used that for motivation was not clear, but ever since then he has been everything that Wolves fans had hoped for and more. For 12 wonderful years, Minnesota got to experience not only one of the best players in the NBA but also one of its hardest working as well. It was a joy to watch this lanky 6'11" man exude such raw joy playing the game of basketball. Some people who play the game treat it more like a job than anything else. Kevin treated it like it was the game he grew up loving, and acted like he was truly happy to be getting paid to play. Now, some people might say that he was vastly overpaid, but if you stepped back and thought about what Kevin brought to the table, that point loses a lot of its luster. Not only was good for 22 and 12 almost every game of his career, but he also averaged around 5 assists for most of it as well. He may have not hit as many big shots as everyone would have liked, but he made his teammates better in every way. He never got himself in any trouble and treated the people of Minnesota with respect, always saying that he loved to play here. To me, he was worth every penny of the 20+ million a year he got from the club.


Sadly though, that 20+ million dollar salary, coupled with many horrendous other contracts, completely handicapped the team into mediocrity. Even though many of us did not want to see it end this way, something had to be done. The team had to part ways and start this Biotch over. It appears they have done so.

They couldn't have asked for much more. If all is true and they receive who they are said to be receiving, the trade is the first one in a long time that you can say that we actually came out on top. Sure we give up Garnett, but we get a budding "star" in Al Jefferson and lots of yummy cap room. The other actual players aren't that great, with the exception of Gerald Green, who could bring some excitement to the Target Center. I'm not sure that Sebastion Telfair will be with us, or anyone else, for very much longer. The part of this deal that makes it so appealing is those two first round picks that we acquire. Sure, one of them would be our pick that we owe the Celtics already, but it helps undue some of the mess McHorrible GM made down his leg a couple years ago.





If, for some reason, you happen to be optimistic for this upcoming year, let me be the first one to burst your bubble. This team will be very, very bad next year. And by bad, I'm talking 20-25 wins at most. I'm hoping for 15-18 actually, which would probably guarantee ourselves a top 3 pick, if not (GASP!) the first overall pick. This might be the only way we get to keep our pick that belongs to the Clippers. If you couple that fact with all the yummy cap room I mentioned earlier, this could be a shorter rebuilding process then usually is the case. Taking a quick look at the notable free agents for next years class, names like Elton Brand, Dwight Howard, Ben Gordon, Shawn Marion, and Agent Zero quickly jump off the page. Those are some of the names that could make this pill a lot easier to swallow.

As the Kevin Garnett era nears its end, I want to be one of hopefully many to look back at his time here, not with disdain, but with fondness. I know that we didn't get to where most fans wanted to get, but we truly saw one of the good ones play for 12 years. He did his best to take Wolves fans to the promised land. It wasn't his fault that a couple idiots were driving the bus. I'm gonna keep cheering for Kevin in Bean Town, and I hope that he can finally find his way to more success. He deserves it as much as any player in the NBA. Maybe the people in Boston will embrace him the way Wolves fans have.



Good Luck, Ticket.





On a lighter note, I am currently watching the Twins-Royals game,(and no, I don't know why) and Dick Bremer just uttered the words "Lew Ford absolutely owns Jimmy Gobble."(Royals relief pitcher) Man, has it really gotten this bad?? If they are clinging to statements that absurd, then the answer just may be yes.

So.. THIS Crumb is the Reason I Haven't Won a Bet in the Last 3 Months??

All those hours of watching games. All the time spent on the Internet checking out stats and the latest trends. All those years gaining the common sense needed to make good decisions. Down the shitter.

The average sports better has always been disadvantaged. Its the nature of the beast. That's why the sports books stay open. With the "juice" that comes along with every bet or the fact that people much smarter than you and I set the lines with the help of more information than any of us with ever care to look at. Most people are sheep when it comes to betting, choosing to pick YOUR team, when they clearly have no chance of staying in the game. Or picking the Yankees or Cowboys because that's only teams you ever hear about on Sportscenter. But the few of us who actually pay attention to going on of things outside 100 miles of our homes are still behind the eight ball. The only reason we might have a better time of wagering is that we can use the information collected to make informed decisions.

Now, saying all that, it means nothing if you have some slappy on the inside working against you. You are pretty much giving your money away to anyone or anything that will take it. The thing is that through out the years, there has been an understanding that sports were sacred. That no one would dare ruin sports. Over the years though, certain people have tested that notion in order to make a quick buck. The Chicago Black Sox, the kid from the Arizona State Basketball team that shaved points, the recent gambling ring run by ex-professional hockey player Rick Tocchet, and of course Charlie Hustle, Pete Rose. The NBA and NFL have never experienced anything like this this related to gambling though.

Until now.

As everyone has heard by now, Tim Donaghy, a long time NBA official has been accused of betting on games in which he was officiating and giving information about the outcome of games that would possibly benefit potential betters. Basically, the douschbag was fixing games. David Stern confirmed yesterday in a press conference that the news story was indeed true and that there was an investigation ongoing.

Probably the thing that stuck out the most from the news conference, and probably one of the funnier things I've seen in a while, was the look on David Stern's face throughout the entire hour. He honestly looked like someone just ran over his golden retriever. I know that's not the funniest thing to think about, but when you think David Stern, you think stoic and firm. You think hard case. Running his league more like a dictatorship than anything else. But to see him stand there limply, looking like a strong breeze would blow him over, it seemed like his baby was being taken away from him. He looked the warden in Shaw shank Redemption, when he realized that Andy Dufrain had single handily just ruined him.



Stern better hope that this was, as he put it, one rouge criminal and nothing more. If this guy squeals and starts naming names, the NBA is ruined. And yes, I mean ruined. For years, people have been wondering out loud if the NBA was rigged, fixed, plotted out like the WWE. And David Stern acted like it was preposterous to think about such things. The league he helped build to prominence could never be taken down like that. Or could it??

Such things make you wonder about happenings in the past and say hmmmmm... Now, as you may or may not know, I am the biggest Michael Jordan fan I know. But even I could see that while he was playing, he got, should I say, the benefit of, oh, a thousand or so calls. Was it that he was just that great of a player? Maybe. Hopefully. But you have to wonder if the most popular player to ever step foot on a basketball court was given the red carpet treatment once or twice. No one will really ever know for sure I guess.

All I know, is that, right now, in the Land of the Major Sports Commissioners, Gary Bettman is king.

I had been wondering for months now how those games that were locks in every way could go so wrong. How with 22 seconds left and the Spurs up 9 in a meaningless game against the Hawks, Jacque Vaughan can proceed to turn the ball over instead of running out the clock as he should. And how the Hawks can then come down and score a meaningless basket, thus making the deficit 7 and ruining my beautiful $30 dollar Parlay. Now, I know the answer. If you need me, I'll be hunting down Tim Donaghy. My new 9 Iron needs to be broken in. I just hope someone else doesn't get to him first.

Does Anyone See What This Guy is Doing??

I know, I know. Everyone in Minnesota is automatically supposed to hate the Yankees. The Evil Empire. Everything the Twins aren't, basically. I also get the everyone is supposed to hate Alex Rodriguez as well. Being the highest paid player in the league, it just comes with the territory. So why am I writing something about a player so loathed that he gets booed regularly at his home ballpark?? Well, while everyone in baseball has been captivated on the Barry Bonds home run chase or (yawn) the steroids investigation, I don't think people have really come to appreciate exactly whats been going on in the Bronx. Now, you might say... What the hell is this kid talking about? Everyone knows that ESPN pimps the Yankees everyday of every week. Whether its the Clemens travesty or them being 3 games under .500, etc,etc, etc.. Trust me, I've almost had enough too..

Little has been made though of exactly what A-Rod is accomplishing. If you take a look at his stats, I dont see how you can't like this guy, even with everything I stated earlier. One of the most dependable players over the span of his 13 year major league career, Rodriguez has been the model of consistency over that span. This year has been no different. In April, he only hit .360 and only a 6 game drought at the end of the month prevented him from breaking the record for the most home runs in April, ever, with 14. This year he has by far been the best player in the Majors, compiling 28 home runs and 77 RBI, not to mention hitting .333. A serious Triple Crown threat. He is as locked in as Barry Bonds was during the 2001 season, and thats scary. All this while also playing Gold Glove defense at Third base.

Aside from this year, though, the historical perspective that A-Rod is approaching needs to be touched on also. Before the age of 32, he has amassed 492 home runs. 492 Home runs! Frank Thomas can barely walk and is just now getting to 500 homers. Rafael Palmero apparently juice up for years, and just made it to 500. Before he turns 32 on July 27th, Arod will have hit his 500th, making him the youngest player to accomplish that milestone, beating Jimmie Foxx by 10 months, or more than a full season sooner. I feel like no one is even taking notice to how unbelievable this is.
While people have been consumed lately with all the negativity surrounding baseball and the "steroid Era", they may have overlooked that we may be witnessing the best baseball player ever... And yes, Im not crazy when I say, EVER. How can you not like a player like that?

Thinking long term, if Alex plays until he is 40 years old and taking into account his average number of 41 home runs hit per full major league season, he will have hit more than 850 home runs in his career! That will obviously shatter the current home run mark soon to be Barry Bonds'. Thats assuming, too, that he only plays until hes 40. I think he could actually go longer considering that over his entire career hes been so durable that he hasn't played in less than 129 games in any season... and that was only one year. The rest of the years have hovered around 150 or so... Maybe around age 40 he moves to DH to save his body.

And forget about any steroids bullshit to cop out on.. Since coming into the majors, he has done almost anything to help his team win. His first year in the league, he hit .360. One year, along with hitting 42 home runs, he also stole 46 bases. Not to mention that he has now hit 35+ homers for 10.. wait, 11 straight years. There has been no spike in production like you have seen with others. Just a natural progression of a great ball player.


I know that he might have his slight drawbacks from time to time that might make it easy for some people to dislike him. His shenanigans in Toronto a month ago were a little bush league. And, I meant his shenanigans ON the baseball field.



There was that incident with the very boob-a-licious stripper while in Toronto too. Lets be honest though, who hasn't wanted to bang a hot stripper at one point or another in their life??

But aside from all that, one has to appreciate what we get to watch. The best offensive player in the game is also one of its better defensive players too. ARod can opt out of his contract at the end of this year and become a free agent. Even though hes making 22 million this year and more next year, I do believe he will opt out and test the market. The people in New York have never appreciated him and never will. There will be so many teams salivating at the chance to sign him, and if this year is any preview of things to come, he will make comparable money as well. A Rod is already a two-time MVP and will add another one by the time this year is done. Its time for people to weed through all the somewhat negative, and start to really appreciate just how good this guy is..

What to do?.... What to do??

I think that's what a lot of us Minnesota Twins fans are wondering as the season nears its midway point. With Cleveland showing no signs of slowing down and the Tigers having the most talent in the Central, it doesn't look any brighter for the Twins as they cling to a .500 record that still sees them 6 1/2 games behind the division leader.
Now, I know what you will say. Its the same thing everybody says around Minnesota. "Well, we have a better record this year then at the same time last year and look what happened??" I get that. But that is a very ignorant statement. If you actually believe that the Tigers and Indians are gonna lay down again and let us walk all over them like we did last year, you are just plain crazy. For one, the Tigers are a year more experienced and they had one of the best free agent signings of this past off season in Gary Sheffield. That just wont happen again. That was a once in a decade comeback. Lets move on.
So, instead of waiting for that miracle comeback, why not be proactive for once??
I know, its a pretty aggressive, earth-shattering concept. Definitely something the Twins are not known for, thats for sure. Why not go out for once and get one of the players that could be had for the right price, maybe even less. Why not get the fans excited again and give them hope for this year, not the next or the next after that.
Make a splash like the Yankees do every year. Sure, it hasn't worked for them recently, but I'd take that lineup against any pitching staff in the league and I'd like my chances.
Twins fans need to come to realization that Torii Hunter is not going to be a Twin next year. Sadly, the way free agency has ballooned out of control, we have as much of a chance of re-signing him as we do of trading for A-Rod. Torii has been the heart and soul of this Twins team since I can remember but shit, if you think about it, if Gil Meche can get 55 Million dollars and Barry Zito can get 126 Million for being average pitchers, the best defensive Centerfielder in the league will command somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 million or more from the likes of the Red Sox or Rangers.

People will say that since we cant re-sign him, we should try and trade him so we don't let him go without getting compensation back in return. I agree with this whole heartedly, but if the Twins are unwilling to do so because they are still in the race, I sympathize.
What would be the alternative, you say? Well, Ive thought long and hard about what we could do. First, I was thinking of trading for Florida's Miguel Cabrera. A young power-hitting superstar third baseman would fit beautifully on this squad. One problem, Cabrera would be so much harder to re-sign than Torii would be. It would be the same problem we would have had if we would have traded for Alfonso Soriano last year. No matter how much I drool over the possibilities, it's just not feasible.
Secondly, I thought, why not not trade Torii and scrap this year completely. Wait until next year with a healthy Francisco Liriano, and more mature lineup, and a healthy **gulp** Joe Mauer. We could use the money we save from Torii's contract to try and sign Johan to a longer term deal so we don't lose him too. Then I thought, no, we are too good to just give up on this year so soon. Ya know, with a good tweak here and there, we could be good enough to win the whole damn thing....

Then, it came to me. Finally, an idea that fits all around. Carl Crawford.

Tampa Bay isn't going anywhere without pitching. Even a team thats as talented as they are on offense, just isn't going to be competitive if they cant get anyone out, especially in the AL East. They need pitching. We have pitching. We need speed and power. They have speed and power in the form of one guy. Crawford is young and still getting better. And the best thing is.... He's affordable, if not downright cheap for a player of his quality. He already signed a deal with the Devil Rays for the next two years with club options for two more years. Crawford is a bargain at $4 million this season and $5.25 million next season. His contract also includes an $8.25 million club option for 2009 and a $10 million option for '10. If we do indeed lose Torii for nothing in free agency, the blow will be much easier to absorb with our future stud in the outfield. He has the speed to play center if need be, but as of right now is a left fielder. He could immediately take over for a once again vastly underachieving Jason Kubel. We could use him for situational hitting like he should be anyways. Sure, we might have to give up quite a bit to get him, but its worth it. We could package either a combination of one of the three pitchers that will rotate between the majors and AAA this year in Kevin Slowey, Matt Garza, and Scott Baker. Might seem pricey, but this can be one of the cornerstones of our franchise for years to come.
If you disagree, just take a minute to imagine our lineup with Crawford in it...
Castillo and Crawford at the 1 and 2 spots, getting on base and causing havoc on the base paths with their speed and aggressiveness. Mauer, Cuddyer, Morneau, and Torii waiting to drive them in. And the piranhas at the end of the order to start the madness all over again. That is music to my ears.
So, I implore our favorite squad, please don't drop the ball yet again. Don't let another very attainable talent get away and into the hands of one of your rivals.
Stop waiting for these pitchers to hit their stride, and trade them while you still can get something for them. Don't try and develop EVERYBODY from within... Go out and get Crawford and lets Win this damn thing.

It Was Fun While It Lasted....

The NBA playoffs provide all sorts of intriguing story lines for us to follow. Whether its D-Wade's coming out party last year, Robert Horry being in every single playoffs(ever!), and even Raja Bell clotheslining Kobe's Ass last year. This year has been no different so far.

The most intriguing storyline this year has been the Golden State Warriors. A team barely alive at the All Star Break, making a second half charge and making the playoffs on the last day of the regular season. Their reward for such a strong push, the 67 win Dallas Mavericks, a team that ran ruck shaw through the rest of the NBA during the season, amassing three 12+ game winning streaks including a stretch where they won 34 of 36 games. THANKS! The Warriors didn't seem to mind though, as the laid the wood to the Mavericks in a 4-1 dominating series win.


The Warriors became the best feel good story in sports overnight. But alas, as we have heard before, all good things must come to an end. This story is no different.
After a third loss in four games against the Utah Jazz, the Warriors are brought to the brink of elimination. Although they are, along with the Phoenix Suns, by far the most fun squad to watch, they have several faults which have been brutally exposed in this series. They have learned the hard way the you can't win in the NBA playoffs when you can't rebound and you can barely defend, aside from a couple steals every now and then. They've learned the harsh reality that you can't shoot 30+ threes in four straight games and expect to win. They've learned that this isn't open gym at Hastings High.
In watching every game of this wildly entertaining series, I've seen bad shot after bad shot after bad shot go up, some going in, but mostly not. Baron Davis, when healthy, is probably the third best point guard in the NBA and extremely exciting to watch. Jason Richardson is a great #2 scorer and again, very fun to watch. They just don't have inside help. Carlos Boozer has torn them a new asshole in this series. It seems now, that all these, flaws have finally caught up to them. And it looks like there will be no fairy tale ending.


So, now we have to come to the conclusion that we will not get to see the Mother of all playoff series', the Suns V. Warriors, and its becoming very evident that instead we are gonna be stuck with a snoozer like Spurs and Jazz. I know, personally, I will not watch a single game of this series. Its clear, that the NBA will have to deal with another Pistons/Spurs Finals and another series that will have ratings below re-runs of Fresh Prince.
Yay.. I think the Royals and Nationals are playing on Direct TV Extra Innings for interleague play... So peace..

Tidbits...

Hello everybody. My name is Adam and I am the latest addition to the Some People's kids blog. Thats three, count em' , three Adams now contributing. I promise we are not the same person. These are my first, but definitely not last, couple posts. Its a pleasure to be here and I'll try to give my own twist on things I find amusing or shocking, and some in between stuff as well. I'll do my best to follow the lead set by my predecessors. I hope you enjoy...





Oh Joey....

Bye bye Joey Crawford. The long time NBA referee was suspended for the rest of the season by commisioner David Stern on Tuesday. The suspension came about after Crawford apparently challenged the San Antonio Spurs resident gerbil, Tim Duncan, to a fight after ejecting Duncan in Sundays loss to the Mavericks. Duncan was earlier called for an offensive foul and a technical foul. Later, while on the bench, Duncan was seen laughing with some of his teammates. Taking exception, Crawford booted him with a second technical and subsequent ejection. The suspension came after numerous warnings by Stern to tone down his attitude and make sure he wasnt the focus of the NBA games. And as much as I love to see Tim Duncan get the boot, this ejection was truly rediculous. Ya gotta love referees wanting to throw down with players. First you have Charles Barkley challenging Dick Bavetta to a race and now you have Joey Crawford wanting to fight Tim Duncan. Who says the NBA isnt fun anymore!! Stay tuned for the pay-per-view wrestling match this summer. I hear the old man is a 5/3 favorite already, which makes sense to me.

Also, on Monday, this weekends PGA tournament finished in playoff fashion with something called Boo Weekely coming out on top. Aside from having by far the coolest name on the PGA tour, there is a story going around that this guy wrestled an Orangutang. What a weekend for my man... First he wins a PGA event then becomes a bad ass when this story hits the media. Impressive. Anybody who busts up an Orangutang has my respect. This guy is my new idol.

Lastly, a side note that you all should be aware of... Ricky Davis will now be known as Ricky Avis, as there is clearly no "D" anywhere in sight when it comes to him.

F*@#in Crazies....

Just when you think that the world could'nt get any more messed up, we are slapped back to the harsh reality of the way things really are. Just when we think that we have seen the last of major massacres on innocent people, another kid goes postal. It just doesnt seem to be getting any better anytime soon.

Of course, by now, this particular situation isnt news to anyone. The brutal killings of 32 innocent students at Virginia Tech the other day have rocked the country. Once again some random kid decides he's had enough and instead of just killing himself, he takes out his aggresion on 32 other students and ends their lives as well.

Im sure when it all gets broken down, from every angle, we will find out that this fool felt that the world was shitting on him. Im sure it will come out that the kids in Gym class snapped him with towels every day for two months. Im sure it will come out that his girlfriend just cheated on him with his best friend. Im sure it will come out that Burger King refused employment to him, even with an impending college graduation on the horizon. People will look at society and at Virginia Tech and at music he was listening to, and ask why? The answer? Maybe hes just nuttier than squirrel turds! Maybe he's bleepin crazy!
Everyone has been through some bad times in their lives, but 99.9 % of the population doesnt go kill people because of it. That .1 % screws it up for the rest of us and makes us all feel unsafe. I dont mean unsafe like when I go outside, Im looking over my shoulder every minute. I mean knowing that despite living a good, productive, normal life, some dude could come out the wood work and decide that you've lived long enough. And that's scary.

More details have come out about this horrible tragedy, including the identity of the shooter and that he left a "long and disturbing" note in his dorm room. In the note, Sueng-Hui Cho, a senior student, claimed "YOU caused me to do this." I got news for ya, though it wont matter cause your brains are splattered all over the floor in some classroom, no one did this to you. No one caused you to do what you did. Your messed up little mind caused you to do this. No matter what anyone did to you, it never warrented killing a bunch of kids, minding their own business, on their way to class. Why is it always someone elses fault? You never hear someone say, man, Im just really screwed up and I decided to some other people should suffer for me being that way.

Im not ashamed to say that I've been picked on more than a few times in my life. Everyone who went to any kind of school did. The difference is, I never felt the need to go find a gun and start blasting. I went home and beat up pillows, listened to music, and even cried sometimes. Kids need to stop thinking that the world is their playground and they can cop out and take out their frustration by killing a bunch of people. For the love of God and the sake of that 99.9% of us, Get OVER IT! Take a walk. Get a role model. Collect coins. Start doing drugs. I dont care.

Just dont kill people.