So for as long as I can remember, us Minnesota Golden Gopher basketball fans have had one.. count 'em, one year to get excited about our favorite squad.. Even that year though, supposedly doesn't even exist anymore because a couple of big dumb kids couldn't write their own papers. We have had some good talent come in here recently, only to have said talented players leave after one year for greener pastures. Our team has been a complete joke since that wonderful year of 1997. I have actually gone as far as to turn down free tickets to Gophers' games on certain occasions unless they are playing someone worth watching. I don't understand why our program cannot free itself from the doldrums of the bottom half of the Big Ten Conference. We have a historic arena. We have fans that long to see a good team and will back them every step of the way. We have tradition that rivals most Big Ten schools. So what has gone wrong here over the past 8-9 years? Ah yes, the answer is simple. Dan, freakin, Monson! We thought he would never leave and just go on collecting that big check knowing damn well he hasn't come close to earning it. But, in a shocking turn of events, Monson resigned and that ruckus cheer you heard was the entire state of Minnesota.
But now what??
We still don't have a head coach... Sure, we have something called Jim Molanari as a lame duck coach but lets be honest... I have as much of a chance as he does of being the head coach next season. I have a solution that will help bring Minnesota Gophers basketball back to at least respectability, if not prominence. I have single-handedly broken down hours of film and stats and here's what Ive come up with...
Hire Trent Tucker!!
How could you not choose Double T?! A former NBA player who starred for the Gophers back in the day. Here are a few of my reasons if you have a
hard time agreeing with that decision:
1.) Anyone who has the moniker "Tha Professor of Hoopology" has to have extensive basketball knowledge. A true X's and O's guy, Trent would be the solution we need to create the fun and extremely efficient team that we all covet.
2.) He knows what it takes to win! He knows what it takes to be a champion. Having played with and against long time friend, Michael Jordan, for many years, he has seen how hard you need to work to be THAT good. He also won an NBA Championship with the Bulls in 1993. I've heard he also does well at his Celebrity Golf and Poker Tournaments, held annually. (Actually, I don't have any idea about how he does, but it supports my point...)
3.) HE WANTS TO BE THE COACH OF THE TEAM!! He has said numerous times publicly that he would be very interested if the Gophers came asking. He even went back to school recently and finished his degree, something that is required to be a coach at the college level.
I did weigh other options in making my decision. I thought about possible candidates such as former Utah basketball coach, Rick Majerus and former UCLA basketball coach Steve Lavin. I eliminated Majerus based on the fact that I know he likes to go to Cosetta's for Italian food and with his health issues, I don't know if he would last even a year before he kicks the bucket. As for Steve Lavin, I don't think the state of Minnesota would be able to come up with close to enough hair gel to satisfy his needs. So thats out of the question as well...
I know that Trent Tucker may sound slow and stupid, but hes quite the contrary. Hes a very smart individual would could really do some good with this program. Although, no one would have the slightest clue and how effective he would be on the recruiting trail, I'm willing to roll with him any day of the week.
Think of it this way, just imagine being courtside at a Gophers game and hearing, "LM to ST for the 2-handed Throwdown!" (Lawrence Mckenzie/ Spencer Tollackson)... That alone is music to my ears!
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