Over the years, there have been certain players that have always rubbed me the wrong way, so to speak. For example, Tim Duncan would be one of these players. Aside from the obvious resemblance to a gerbil, "The Big Fundamental" has the personality of park bench and despite being a very good player, is probably one of the more boring to see play. There have been other players of course, Terrell Owens and everyone on the Utah Jazz teams of the 90's, to name a few. No one else, however, has made me as mad as Mr. Noah. There are a couple glaring reasons for my disdain.First off, he's NOT GOOD! I've been hearing people all over the country, on various radio and TV shows, claiming he is a first round pick, even a Lottery pick. Are you kidding me?? Have these same people been watching the same player I have for the past two years? He's big... I get that. He blocks some shots and gets some rebounds, and everyones happy and thats great. But anyone that has watched any basketball (EVER) can see that his shot is absolutely aweful. When I see this thing go up, it looks like it could hurt someone. I liken it to a broken heat-seeking missile, weaving this way and that, with only the help of blind luck actually finding its eventual target. Anyone who drafts this idiot is going to have to spend 3 years totally revamping his shot until it somewhat resembles graceful, which may never happen. Hes not even the best player on his team! Al Horford, Cory Brewer, and Torrian Green are all better players and prospects than is Noah. He has been the product of a very good team and thats it.
Secondly, hes ugly. I dont mean that kind of ugly you could look past because "he's really cool." I mean the ugly that you just have to sit back and say, "damn, that fool is ugly." When I see this guy, Miles Tarver comes to mind. Thats how bad it is. You could hide a small country in the poof that resides in the place where his hair is supposed to be. You could drive a semi through the gap in his front teeth. You would think that since your dad is famous and some great musician/ tennis player that no one has heard of, that you might be able to get that thing fixed. When I see a picture of his father though, I realize why this has not happened yet. He's still got to fix the same gap in his teeth before he can get crackin' on Joakim's. Hes so ugly in fact, that during one game last year, he winked at a cheerleader of an opposing team, and got a "Yuck" in return. Thats when you know its bad.
He can't dance. He's a African American who cant dance. How many of those have you come across? If you don't believe me about this, check this out... www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ3y5hTHuP4.....
It looks like hes trying to hump Bill Raftery next to him. He reminds me of a certain cartoon character you might know.
Lastly, he's extremely cocky. Every interview Ive seen with him, he's touting himself or his team. When I look at him, I keep referring to the classic T.O. quote, "I love me some Me!" His team is a very, very good team, but he is about the fourth or fifth best player on his team, and he needs to start realizing that fact. What I'm really hoping is that, when that time comes around to see how much better the players in the NBA are then the jokes that hes been playing against in college, he will finally come back down to where the rest of us reside on Earth.But alas, despite all the things that I have just laid out, some desperate Lottery team will draft him because of his "Potential." Some team will just have finished a terrible season and have the need to corral its fan base back in, that they will buy in to all that they have been hearing for the past two years. Some team will try to re-invent the wheel, yet again.... and be disappointed, yet again...
Funny. This team bears a striking resemblance to my favorite squad. And that makes me sad.
